100+ Things

I was recently on StumbleUpon, wasting time (as usual) when it brought me to a site where they talked about making a list of 100 things. It could be anything, really. 100 Things to Cook. 100 Ways to Tell Someone You Love Them. 100 Things to Wear. 100 Things to Remember. 100 Ways to Get Through Anything. It really didn't matter what the list was about, as long as it was 100 things. (I suggest you read the website first, maybe you'll understand better what I'm talking about and explain questions you may have: http://litemind.com/tackle-any-issue-with-a-list-of-100/ ) So I figured, what the heck, I might try this. I did one list that my mind immediately jumped to and it was... helpful. I realized a lot of things as I wrote it and dug really deep into my reasons for wanting to make that list. It's going to remain private for now, but maybe I'll share it with you later; heck, maybe I'll make a list of 100 Reasons to Share a Private, Personal List. Well, maybe not.

At any rate, I did a second one just today and I started crying. Like, full on tears streaming down my face, upset, almost loudly sobbing kind of cry. It was really refreshing for me. It showed me a lot of patterns to my thinking and helped me really sort things out in my mind. I absolutely loved it. I'm not entirely sure how my list will be applicable in the future and I'm sure it will change as I grow older, adding things and subtracting things necessarily, but as of right now, this list is everything about me. I even bolded the ones that made me cry particularly hard or ones that I think are super important to me right now. I'm sure I forgot some things and I'm sure some things are kind of silly, but they're thoughts I had right now, and they're important to me. I can't even tell you enough how superbly fantastic these lists are. So here's mine, in no specific order, no rhyme or reason to it. It's kind of sparse, rather vague, and probably not worth all this fanfare I'm putting it through. But it's not my list that's important, but the idea behind it. And I love it.

100 Things I Want To Do In My Life

1. Get married
2. Have a family
3. Travel!
4. Be a true, completely committed follower of Jesus
5. Be smart/intelligent
6. Love people
7. Do things that I love
8. Have at least one boy and one girl as children (preferably)
9. Find my soul mate
10. Become comfortable with who I am
11. Love my life
12. Be a bold witness to Christ
13. Read the entire Bible and understand and appreciate it (these definitely go hand in hand)
14. Stay friends with the people I met at A-tech (there’s probably, like, two or three that are on the definite list)
15. Stay friends with those girls I met in Campbell (probably about six or so, as of right now anyway)
16. Make more amazing friends
17. Be supportive
18. Visit Japan
19. Learn an Asian language
20. Go to China
21. Heck, go to a lot of Asian countries
22. Go to Europe
23. Not ever worry about money
24. Visit England
25. Help people in need
26. Love people in need
27. Donate money to those who really need it
28. Not be like my parents (especially in the bad aspects)
29. Don’t be an angry person
30. Learn to love my qualities
31. Be secure with who I am
32. Okay, visit the UK in general
33. Retire well enough (this is a long way off, so I don’t know what this looks like)
34. Love people more than things
35. Have a compost pile
36. Live wherever makes me happy
37. Go to church often
38. Adopt kitties from the animal shelter!
39. Write a book
40. Be involved in a church
41. Work at a homeless shelter
42. Trust people
43. See the good in everyone
44. Love my family
45. Not worry about possessions
46. Visit Australia
47. Go to India
48. Feel comfortable in a bathing suit again
49. Be able to wear shorts without worrying about my knees
50. Fix my knees
51. Exercise more
52. Eat well
53. Eat good food
54. Live in a big-ish city
55. Be happy wherever I live
56. Smell good all the time
57. Stay organized
58. Never fail to see the beauty around me
59. Find someone who knows me and still loves me for it
60. Visit clear beaches
61. Appreciate any current circumstances
62. Praise God for my circumstances
63. Take care of myself
64. Take care of others
65. Don’t be so self-centered
66. Forget about my past pain
67. Learn from my past pain
68. Don’t let my past pain keep me back from anything
69. Be proud of who I am
70. Have confidence in me
71. Know that it’s not me that I'm living for
72. Die to myself everyday
73. Always be willing to change
74. Always remember my family and my roots (this is a tough one)
75. Always be willing to help others, no matter what
76. Don’t stress
77. Rely on God for everything
78. Be happy
79. Always go on family vacations to new places
80. Always be willing to do new things
81. Change the world… somehow
82. Learn when to be frugal and when not to be
83. Be inspirational
84. Respect everything (basically everything)
85. Question everything
86. Always be curious
87. Don’t be afraid of living life
88. Have fun
89. Don’t worry about the little things
90. Know that I am forgiven, beloved, righteous, holy, reborn, remade, accepted, and worthy
91. Visit New York City
92. Live near to the beach (preferably in California)
93. Develop lasting relationships with wonderful people
94. Never forget Las Vegas
95. Always think of good memories
96. Have hope in my future
97. Don’t hold grudges
98. Feel loved, always
99. Do my best at all times
100. Don’t dive too deep into my head all the time
101. Be social
102. Always be ME

All of these things, to me, mean that I will have a successful, rich, amazing life. (And yes, I know there's 102, but it's my list, I can do what I want with it!)

Awesome Day, Period.

So yesterday, Thursday, my mother had some surgery done and then something happened with a friend on Wednesday night that had me down in the dumps (side note: my mother is doing just fine and it's nothing to worry about at all and my friend thing is okay). So, naturally, Thursday wasn't a spectacular day when it comes to defining "good days" but it wasn't anything to write home about. I did lean on the Lord more for both situations and I was glad that He was able to calm me and watch out for me. So I figured Friday may not be so spectacular either since my mom would be coming home from the hospital (meaning I would have to help take care of her, which wouldn't be a barrel of monkeys, but I would do it without complaints) and I still didn't know what to do about my friend.

But oh my goodness, I was proven completely wrong.

So my mom came home, and it was good to have her back. I'm so glad she's okay and she's doing really well considering the fact that she had surgery, so that was super uplifting. It was a routine surgery, but I'm so so so happy that she's doing awesome.

And then a friend texted me and made me smile while I was waiting for my mother and father to come back from the hospital. It was little, but it was a good sign (or something like that) and I was so glad for her and her friendship.

And then one of my friends that I've had for eight years (I told her "that's like forever!") and I were texting today and I got an update of her life. I haven't seen her since winter break 2011, so it was really awesome to hear about her! She's going to South Africa, and doing research, and we told each other that we would have to be friends until we're old and it was superb. I love when that happens, so I was super stoked already.

BUT WAIT, THERE'S MORE! And then, one of my friends that I haven't talked to in probably nine months or something and I talked for an hour, catching up and telling each other how glad we were to be talking and how much we missed each other. It was completely fabulous! Oh my gosh, I loved it so much! It was super easy to get back into the swing of things and have such a natural conversation without worrying about all the little details of each other's lives in the past months and just enjoy talking to each other and well wishing each other for the summer.

How cool is that? I am so blessed with such amazing friends (I love you three [well, four, with my mother] that I was thinking of while writing this post... and all of my other friends too!)and am so happy with my life, not just now because all of this happened, but everything that's been going on since probably around January or so (but for reals, legit joyful around the middle of March). My gosh, I would like to say that it was all me and all that I've done to make my life so amazing. But it wasn't me who texted my friends today. It wasn't me who made the initial phone call to my friend. But in retrospect, I don't really care who contacted who because I truly do think that the Lord saw my need of friendship in my life at this moment and completely caused it. It was so awesome and I'm so thankful. I mean, one friend I could expect to talk to and another didn't really surprise me a whole lot, but the one I haven't talked to in such a long time? That's crazy! And all in one day! I can't even describe how completely happy I am about this!

Maybe I'm attributing this to God in the "wrong" sort of way, but I just feel so blessed overall since I started walking closer to Jesus and I've fallen completely in love with learning about Him and making sure my relationship with Him is developing and with Him in general. I'm pursuing a stronger and more intense relationship with Him, slowly but surely, and He is relentlessly pursuing me and I'm completely seeing this by how He loves me through others. How can I feel okay with letting Him down or sinning or not denying myself when He does stuff like this? My gosh, it's remarkable, how He loves. I'm still struggling with the idea that He's sort of an untouchable God, much like the leaders of my childhood church, but that wall is also being broken down. I'm just in awe of how He loves and of Him and all that He's done and will do. And not because I deserve it or earned it or because He needs me. But because He wants to. He wants me. And I need Him.

I feel like this post was sort of jumbled and that I bounced from one idea to the next but it makes sense to me. And I needed to just express all these great thoughts going through my head and all these great realizations and comprehensions (that may not be a word, but it fits) that have been given to me. And that's good enough for me. :)