10 things? Sort of.

So I figured I would just put this in because it intrigued me and I felt the need to post something. I have other drafts in my little draft storage unit, so maybe those will come later. But for now, you have this.

Ten Things I Wish I Could Say to Ten Different People (but don't say their name):

1. You stress my life out and I'm slowly discovering that I'm feeling guilty for being your friend. I wonder if our friendship is based on good things or if it’s just based on jealousy and compliments (probably the latter). I love you and I don’t want to give up our friendship, but it’s getting a little ridiculous. And how is it that after I’ve shared all of these things with you and after a long conversation about all that I believe is causing wrong in our friendship, I still feel like nothing was said on my part and I still feel frustrated.

2. Thank you for everything you’ve ever done for me. You are such an inspiration for me to be a better person and I'm so appreciative that you haven’t given up on me because I'm kind of an oddball sometimes. You have become one of my closest friends in the world and I know it’s for the right reasons. You are awesome and I love you. Period.

3. You are super awesome and so strong willed. You are not afraid to say what needs to be said and are super gutsy. You’ve taught me how to be really strong and how to not care what other people think as much. Even with all of that, you are still definitely a woman and I love that balance you have. It’s awesome. Plus, you’re ridiculous and funny!

4. There’s a couple of things that you talk about a little too much for my taste, but otherwise, you’re pretty freaking hilarious and I love talking to you and having bash fests whenever possible. You rock and I'm so glad to be your friend (not that I'm not glad for some of these other friendships haha).

5. You’re kind of full of yourself and you like to talk about boys A LOT, but you’re still pretty awesome. I really like how our friendship is developing though and I can’t wait to see what the future holds. :]

6. You are gross and disgusting and messy like no one I’ve ever met. I know you’re very socially awkward, but when I invite you to things, I mean it and I would like for you to get out of your shell for a while. I'm trying to help in the ways I know how. I think I was in your spot too and I know it gets better so let it! Open yourself up to new things and don’t just sit in your room all day, on your computer, while the world passes you by! I know, I’ve been there!

7. Thank you for all that you did for me freshman year. You are so wonderful and I know we’ve had our ups and downs, but we’re still friends and I'm soooo thankful for that! You are too funny and super fantastic and I love where we’ve come in our friendship now! You rock, lady!

8. I'm not really sure why I spend time with you still. You’re kind of funny but mostly you’re just mean and hurtful, and I'm pretty sure you do it with a purpose. I feel personally attacked when I talk to you. You made me feel like I was worth next to nothing and I'm trying so hard to forget that you undermined my intelligence. In my quest to surround myself with truly good people, you are not part of that right now nor do I ever want you to be.

9. You’re very mean to me and I don’t appreciate it. I feel personally attacked by you too and I really don’t know how I put up with you. You’re okay some nights, but it’s very contingent on what I do. I wish I didn’t have to see you and that I didn’t have to deal with you and I would really enjoy it if you were not a part of my life.

10. You’ve hurt me a lot in the past and I'm not sure how I can forgive you. There’s a lot that’s finally coming to the surface but I don’t think I will ever feel comfortable talking to you about any of this. I don’t know how faithful you are and I don’t know if your intentions in the right place. I try to respect you but it’s hard to do so when I feel like you don’t respect others. I’ve gotten a lot of bad habits from you and I don’t appreciate it. I love you but that doesn’t mean I have to like you all the time.

nine things about myself
1. New Jesus Lover

2. I'm a math major but I don’t want to do anything with it (as of right now)

3. I'm a quarter Japanese

4. How “bad” my life was before and how stressed out with everything I was, it’s only gotten that much better.

5. I'm discovering that I am not alone and it’s awesome.

6. I love having friends I can count on and people I can trust. It’s new for me so I'm still learning.

7. I love listening to people’s problems and helping them figure out life. I sort of expect the same thing in return though.

8. I don’t like change, but it’s part of life and I usually get used to it (even though it’s super hard most of the time).

9. I am very hungry at this very moment.

Eight ways to win my heart (I'm assuming it’s romantic type of things? Well, I’ll include both, I suppose)
1. Be a Christian. I would like this to remain a huge part of my life now and I don’t really need anyone who is going to drag me down.

2. Scratch my head!

3. Let me have some independence.

4. Conversely, please be there for me when I need it.

5. Tell me when I'm doing things wrong.

6. Be a leader.

7. Help me and let me help you.

8. Last but absolutely not least… Love me. Love me regardless of what I do or how I perform or how I act. Just show me that you care, no matter how stupid I can be.

Seven things that cross my mind a lot
1. What I do wrong and my faults.

2. My family

3. God

4. Future plans

5. Trying to let go of all the bad things from my past

6. Friendships

7. School and how I'm going to pass my classes

Six things I do before I go to bed: (not in any particular order)
1. Change into my pajamas

2. Brush my teeth

3. Usually, I floss

4. Wash my face

5. Take off my jewelry

6. Get into bed and get all snuggly

Five people who mean a lot to me (no order whatsoever):
1. Jesus

2. Mom

3. Dad

4. Five particular people that live in the hall I'm in right now (as of May 2, 2011)

5. My brother

four things I'm wearing right now
1. Comfy jeans

2. A long sleeve shirt because it’s surprisingly cold out.

3. Opal earrings, since it is my birthstone and all

4. A jacket that has a really fuzzy and warm hood. :]

Three songs I've listened to today
1. Take My Hand – Shawn McDonald

2. Gone – Switchfoot

3. Set Me Free – Casting Crowns

Two things you want to do before you die.
1. Have a family (that means husband and kids)

2. Lead a truly happy, God-filled life

One confession
1. There’s one thing I struggle with a lot that I'm slowly working up the courage to say to people.